How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Sarah-Jayne

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Sarah-Jayne »

Just Don’t let it bother you. Carry on doing what you do and just be happy you child is getting spoilt! My daughters dad continuously buys her love but I’m the one that’s always there for her, not him! which she will remember one day! I actually send him the more expensive gift ideas so saves me bankrupting myself
Cheryl

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Cheryl »

I focus on what I know they REALLY want, i.e having a 'Christmas Bath' with bath bombs and flashy lights and Christmas music 😁 their favourite snacks bits, favourite things on telly, hot chocolates and a bit of quiet time while we play with their toys. That's the stuff they love which has nothing to do with money. But- maybe, like me, working on your own perspective; where these insecurities come from, all the ways they arent true and the positive side (your kids get the best of both worlds) is helpful too before the big day. It ain't easy but it's only one day babe, we get to love them all year long xxx
Amber

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Amber »

As a child who came from a split home….
My dad (who was my primary parent) always brought me more gifts and more expensive gifts compared to my mum because he could afford to do so.
Now I’m an adult, I honestly cannot remember half the stuff either of them brought me. It didn’t make me love one more than the other😊
I can imagine it’s tough on you but so long as your child/children know you love them, that really is all that will ever matter ❤️
Please don’t be hard on yourself xx
Rosa

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Rosa »

I delight in the fact that the other parent can afford a play station 5, the expensive Lego sets etc.

I explain to my son my income is half as big as I work part time so I can do more school pick ups and be together more (in a non judgemental way to his father working full time)

My son (9) therefore doesn’t ask me for expensive things and does ask his father.

He loves both his parents and thinks it’s cool that dad can sometimes buy expensive things but equally seems to love how I make Christmas and birthdays special by decorating the house, baking etc
Melissa

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Melissa »

I'd tell them i was getting my kid the latest toys so the other parent gets better and sip my tea knowing my kids have the best and I didn't have to shell out for it.
Roxy

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Roxy »

Depends on what you mean by outdoing. My ex always buys more gifts and junk. The gifts he gets are crap though generally. He always trys to do the big gestures. However, I'm the one who arranges the fun stuff with his friends and family, makes the memories, actually listens to what he wants and trys my best to facilitate that. It might feel like he's outdoing you because he spends more money, but he's probably not in the things that really matter
Angelique

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Angelique »

I don’t understand this, it’s not a competition. Your child is benefitting from nice gifts. As long the other parent is PRESENT in your child’s life and is a good dad, what’s the issue. Sounds like you’re putting your ego before your kids happiness
Caroline

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Caroline »

Let them wire in, you are the one who pays day in day out I’m presuming and may not have as much disposable income due to putting food on the table electric over their heads…. Presence over presents nothing can substitute the love and time a mum gives let them try compete and u sit back and let them x
Beth

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Beth »

If it's a money thing then what I would do is get your child experiences. Days out vouchers, you don't have to pay for them as you can just make them yourself and pay as and when you book the days out. your child will love that their present lasts all year round.

But honestly, children may love the expensive presents in the moment but as they grow they see things differently and they'll start to see that they're getting these things because it's a competition and not out of love. Xx
Shinese-Carvell

Re: How do you deal with the other parent outdoing you on Bdays Xmas etc?

Post by Shinese-Carvell »

I don't care 🙃😂

Buy her the world and more. I'm happy my daughter gets everything she wants from daddy 🤷🏾‍♀️

Honestly people worry too much kids aren't as stupid as we think they are. They like toys and gadgets but when she's upset or sick she still calls for me and that's the most important part
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