I need to work, I need to earn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:33 pm

I work full time, but shifts anytime from 8am and 9pm Mon to Sun.

My son is hitting out and isn't coping as I'm not working from home and it's not the same hours every week.

My son is 4 years old.

I've applied for so many jobs too.

Childcare is expensive and i can't afford it.

I'm now thinking of my own business but when I tried before, no one really wants to pay.

I'm a professional massage therapist,

I have a life coaching qualification but no one wants to pay for this.

I'm great at advice in most things.

I'm admin trained

Professional emails too.

I'm literally stuck.

I need to be home with my kids, esp my son who isn't coping at all.

I'd be so grateful to what you all think.

I've been a mess lately and worried about my son. Today he hurt a child really bad as we were all shocked on. He won't dress himself anymore, or wipe his bum, he won't tall to me either and doesn't listen anymore. He refuses to eat with cutlery too.

I need to work, I need to earn.

just so you know, his behaviour in the past had me of concern, school us aware, my son isn't at nursery and at school. I was also stating massage, coaching is what I I have qualifications for, but no one seems to want this, so this isn't a great career move. I get UC to and to to childcare, I have to pay upfront and I won't have money left over as its paid in arrears. Routine, well, it's quite difficult as I work different shifts each week, so that isn't helping at all. I have 2 kids, my daughter is 11 and childminders don't look after 11year ikds, looked into this. I have been applying for jobs in indeed, and its not easy. Yes I have spoken to my employer and they won't help.

Thank you so much.

Charlotte · Post by **Charlotte** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:33 pm

Hey, not sure if this would work for you or be something you would do but have you considered support work (carer) I only work weekends to help with childcare issues and it’s working for me so far.

Rhea · Post by **Rhea** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:33 pm

Have to agree with Lauren. I have my own business and a paid job. I love my business but it just isn’t making any money at the moment and would be so stressed if it were my sole income. Lots of employers now offer family friendly contracts etc. I’m sorry you’re in such a. Difficult position x

Nyk · Post by **Nyk** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:34 pm

I would seek advice from your local children's centre as your boy is under 5. They can offer support and advice and certainly will confirm you are not alone in your struggles! Being a parent and trying to juggle everything is hard! Big hugs x

Suzie · Post by **Suzie** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:34 pm

as hard as it is would you be able to claim carers allowance etc ? maybe talk to citizens advice and see what support you can get as it sounds like you are already doing a lot and working as well may be very hard.

Hannah · Post by **Hannah** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:34 pm

Adding to my other comment, if it makes you feel better my 8 yr old still wants me to attend to her personal care, and both my kids (8 and 11) seem incapable of using their cutlery properly despite the fact we eat together as a family every night and keep on showing them how to! I comfort myself with the idea that most adults manage this when they want to impress a partner or in a work situation, but it is frustrating!

Hannah · Post by **Hannah** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:34 pm

If you are admin trained can you do remote office work with regular hours? Or school-hours admin work? There’s an agency called “ten-to-two” that places part time professionals/mums wanting to do school hours work. Also Timewise though not sure if they do admin roles. Talk to your boy, ask him what’s wrong, explain mummy has to work but she spends all the time she can with him (make sure he has your full attention when you are around, put the phone away…) . Also where is dad, can he help at all either practically or financially? Children have two parents and it shouldn’t all be falling on you…

Janice · Post by **Janice** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:34 pm

you were defo doing something right if he was originally getting himself dressed, wiping his own bottom and using cutlery as these are the things kids struggle with and can always be hit and Miss and go through stages with etc. is dad home to help to save it always being childcare which might be too much for him to cope with for his age? It’s very difficult tho as we need to work and the best we can but unfortunately the balance with young children can be hard as they do need us. I was always stubborn and from the moment of having our first i gave my professional job up and worked in a job where the hours suited and only part time… unfortunately my company was horrid tho and 9 years later when we eventually had our second I actually gave up work to be a home mum which means we do struggle and I often feel guilty as my partner is the only one bringing the money in but it means I’m there when they need me, my children have additional needs so they do need me 24/7 even when they are at school as I’m always fighting their corner for them also etc. It is very hard finding the balance between having more time for your children or being able to pay the bills and put dinner on the table

Justyna · Post by **Justyna** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:35 pm

Please don't hate me but it seems to me that your child is struggling with the lack of routine and, possibly, a busy environment. Have you considered that he might have additional needs like autism? Again, I'm just a stranger on the Internet with very limited information so I might be COMPLETELY wrong so please don't feel offended by this comment. Just a different angle to why he might be struggling.

Justyna · Post by **Justyna** » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:35 pm

Please don't hate me but it seems to me that your child is struggling with the lack of routine and, possibly, a busy environment. Have you considered that he might have additional needs like autism? Again, I'm just a stranger on the Internet with very limited information so I might be COMPLETELY wrong so please don't feel offended by this comment. Just a different angle to why he might be struggling.

Justyna · Post by **Justyna** » Tue Dec 06, 2022 3:42 am

Please don't hate me but it seems to me that your child is struggling with the lack of routine and, possibly, a busy environment. Have you considered that he might have additional needs like autism? Again, I'm just a stranger on the Internet with very limited information so I might be COMPLETELY wrong so please don't feel offended by this comment. Just a different angle to why he might be struggling.