I’m having trouble describing plus size people in my book
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Guest
I don’t know the words to use because I feel like “fat” is offensive. I want to highlight someone’s fatness but not sounding like I’m insulting anyone.
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Lissa
I weigh 300lbs. I am fat. I own the word and the state of being. Most people who are actually fat are not offended by the word. We may be offended by the sentiment in its delivery,, but not the word itself. (For example you can deliver the descriptive word blonde as an insult too.) The people who mainly get offended are the people who want to lose 20-30 lbs. Their offense of the word is more offensive to me than the word.
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Despra
I'm fat, you can just say fat. I actually prefer that to any "kinder" innuendo. Fat is just an adjective, any value placed on it is in the hearts of the people who read/write it.
If you want to be kind just don't make fat their personality, or like make them the slob, or the slow one, or the "fat funny friend" or the one that always messes up or is eating. Those are harmful stereotypes, not the word "fat"
If you want to be kind just don't make fat their personality, or like make them the slob, or the slow one, or the "fat funny friend" or the one that always messes up or is eating. Those are harmful stereotypes, not the word "fat"
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Sian
As a plus-size person, this is a seriously offensive list of adjectives. I use the word fat because I am comfortable with that word. I would avoid using one word, describe the whole person, soft rolls etc.
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Linda
Set a scene for it: At the gas station the size 3 attendant told her she didn't have the metabolism for an Icee before making change for the drink.
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Garrity
Great question, and gets the conversation and dialog going!
First regarding the term fat. There is a freedom when those who carry more adipose tissue reclaim the term fat, and use it as it is: a descriptor. Nothing more.
The issue with typical use of the term ‘fat’ is when people use it to describe a feeling or condition, rather than what it is - a physical identifier (same as blue eyes, brown hair, wrinkled skin.
Body fat = adipose tissue… that’s it.
BEING fat is just having more adipose tissue than what the (Ted talk: extremely outdated and not what it was intended for!) BMI measurement dictates as ‘normal’…
There is no morality to fat or having ‘additional’ fat under the skin suit, but unfortunately, regardless of the knowledge of health at any size, people/society equates having ‘additional’ fat with typically negative associations.
These are peoples intrenched bias and perceptions surrounding their belief of what fat indicates in a person.
A lot of people equate laziness or being sleepy to ‘fat’ and that’s an issue bc that’s perception. Their perception of someone fat is someone lazy (or other negatives).
‘I feel fat’ may be them meaning ‘I feel bloated, tired, lazy, etc…’ but associating it to being fat bc their perception of what those feelings are are assigned to those they perceive as lesser, and typically, most view those with excess adipose tissue (fat) as lesser.
Fat is fat tissue, it’s not a feeling or morality marker.
It’s a societal bias, and a majorly accepted one (one of the last forms of accepted discrimination sadly).
As many have stated above, size doesn’t dictate health or abilities, only the person themselves knows what they are able to do, and Society automatically assumes thin=able/smart, fat=lazy/dumb.
I may be wrong and I apologize if I am, but The fact you’re asking how to describe a fat person indicates to me your discomfort in how you perceive a person who has more adipose tissue… that you’re aware there’s a potential to offend, but unsure how not to bc potentially you may unconsciously perceive them as less than and you’re trying not to show that.
I applaud that you’re asking and working to portray fat people as any other in society.
A good way of looking at it for description purposes : sub out fat for any other descriptor. Hair color. Skin color. Shirt color.
Etc… how would you articulate and describe those? Is your character being portrayed negatively, neutrally, or positively?
Remember: There are really nice fat people, and horrible fat people, and fat people in between. Fat people who dress well, and those that don’t.
It’s not about their size, but about their life in general: upbringing, job, personality, traumas, etc… that dictates your character (and humans in general). We are more than our descriptions.
First regarding the term fat. There is a freedom when those who carry more adipose tissue reclaim the term fat, and use it as it is: a descriptor. Nothing more.
The issue with typical use of the term ‘fat’ is when people use it to describe a feeling or condition, rather than what it is - a physical identifier (same as blue eyes, brown hair, wrinkled skin.
Body fat = adipose tissue… that’s it.
BEING fat is just having more adipose tissue than what the (Ted talk: extremely outdated and not what it was intended for!) BMI measurement dictates as ‘normal’…
There is no morality to fat or having ‘additional’ fat under the skin suit, but unfortunately, regardless of the knowledge of health at any size, people/society equates having ‘additional’ fat with typically negative associations.
These are peoples intrenched bias and perceptions surrounding their belief of what fat indicates in a person.
A lot of people equate laziness or being sleepy to ‘fat’ and that’s an issue bc that’s perception. Their perception of someone fat is someone lazy (or other negatives).
‘I feel fat’ may be them meaning ‘I feel bloated, tired, lazy, etc…’ but associating it to being fat bc their perception of what those feelings are are assigned to those they perceive as lesser, and typically, most view those with excess adipose tissue (fat) as lesser.
Fat is fat tissue, it’s not a feeling or morality marker.
It’s a societal bias, and a majorly accepted one (one of the last forms of accepted discrimination sadly).
As many have stated above, size doesn’t dictate health or abilities, only the person themselves knows what they are able to do, and Society automatically assumes thin=able/smart, fat=lazy/dumb.
I may be wrong and I apologize if I am, but The fact you’re asking how to describe a fat person indicates to me your discomfort in how you perceive a person who has more adipose tissue… that you’re aware there’s a potential to offend, but unsure how not to bc potentially you may unconsciously perceive them as less than and you’re trying not to show that.
I applaud that you’re asking and working to portray fat people as any other in society.
A good way of looking at it for description purposes : sub out fat for any other descriptor. Hair color. Skin color. Shirt color.
Etc… how would you articulate and describe those? Is your character being portrayed negatively, neutrally, or positively?
Remember: There are really nice fat people, and horrible fat people, and fat people in between. Fat people who dress well, and those that don’t.
It’s not about their size, but about their life in general: upbringing, job, personality, traumas, etc… that dictates your character (and humans in general). We are more than our descriptions.
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Yamile
Fat is not offensive, thin is not offensive. Woman is not offensive, man is not offensive. Tall is not offensive, short is not offensive. Describe your character. Some people use full figure, robust, meaty, chubby, but fat is fat. It is not a bad word. Is just a description. Obese persons had fought worse things, believe me. We don't fear a three letter word, we didn't even fear bullies. We have thick skin.
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Ashley
As an obese woman, I can safely say everyone will have a different opinion on this one. The important thing is to consider why exactly you want to emphasize the person's body size.
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Charlotte
Continually changing language because the common term for something is "offensive" is a really silly vicious circle to get into.
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Sheila
The main character in one of my unfinished novels is fat- very fat. Her body image affects everything for her, and she feels her excess weight in almost everything she does. The weight reflects another huge weight she carries and she comes to know this. I've been super thin (genetics) and very unhealthy (smoke, etc) and then in my 30s I packed on weight especially after having 3 children. I'm still carrying more weight than I'm comfortable with. Every 5-10 pounds I lose, I feel so much better. I feel I can say this and many will vehemently disagree but this is what I think is true: carrying way more weight than is healthy is a health issue that is better addressed than just accepted-- if possible. Normalizing what is essentially a health problem is not the solution. But no one should feel ashamed, just as we don't feel ashamed about our other health problems. I wasn't ashamed when I had cancer or covid. I'm not ashamed of my weight. I just know from experience, I feel better and do better with less weight, eat healthy, exercise. There is fat shaming out there for sure- but there's also common sense shaming- those who express common sense around this issue are deemed haters. It's too bad. You can not have a civil conversation or exchange of conflicting ideas anymore. Have a wonderful day.
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Abby
I'm fat and the thing I want to point out is that fat people have different body types, just like thin people. And the shape of people varies depending on their height. For example, my protags wife is "small and plump". She's someone he feels affectionately about so I use language that reflects that. Emphasizing that he finds her beautiful and that she makes him feel tall.
As other people have said, you can use the word fat, round, plump, curvy, describe how their clothes fit them etc, but don't say anything that makes it seem like being fat is inherently ugly or unhygienic. Of course a fat character can be those things, but it shouldn't be tied to their fatness because it's cliche and fatphobic.
As other people have said, you can use the word fat, round, plump, curvy, describe how their clothes fit them etc, but don't say anything that makes it seem like being fat is inherently ugly or unhygienic. Of course a fat character can be those things, but it shouldn't be tied to their fatness because it's cliche and fatphobic.
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River
Fat and ugly aren't synonymous. As a fat person, it irks the fuck out of me when people tell me not to call myself fat because it's "putting myself down" or "not true, you're just curvy/bigger/plus sized/squishy/whatever". I am fat and I am beautiful and they are not contradictory statements, and I think that describing characters as fat without making their weight their defining characteristic is important to normalize.
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Erin
I listen to many authors and podcasters speak about size and it also shows in the comments that the world is still divided. I guess it's at your own discretion. But if you feel that it is important to the character, you might describe your character with actions - eg she was larger than life in every way possible, thick blonde hair ran down her ample shoulders - his laugh rumbled and shook his large belly, along with the books on the shelf behind him.
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