I'm working on the blurb for my first book

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Post by Guest »

.. (I've lost track of how many ways I've written this) and I'm hoping for some helpful feedback. Thank you.

From the beginning of time, orcan and sabers roamed the lands, hunting the races of men. Only through the efforts of a declining warrior race, have the beasts remained under control.

Ravyn, the only child of the Regent of Oma, loves nothing more than watching Drachen warriors fight. She has one dream – to be the first female regent in Koda. Unfortunately, her betrothed has eyes on the title for himself.

An innocent touch of orcan blood rips her dreams apart, makes her husband an enemy, sees her kidnapped and thrust into the world of the Drachen. Left with no choice, she can only move forward, even if it means her death.

Meanwhile, buried deep, stirring in its prison, an enemy lost to myth has woken, and he hasn’t forgotten the Drachen.

Post by Laura »

The first paragraph is okay. The second paragraph is better. It’s decent overall.

Post by Hannah »

I would take out only and start that sentence with through. But its really good and made me want to read it.

Post by Karin »

Might I recommend renaming the kingdom? "Oma" means grandma in German...
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