How do I get my kids to tidy their rooms?

[Guest]

Biggest Community I’m in & family minded! I need some advice!

How do I get my kids to tidy their rooms? I feel like I’ve tried everything! It’s getting me down!

HELP!

[Katie]

Do bits daily. Mine bring any dishes, rubbish, washing down before school and havr to open curtains s and make their bed. Sundays they hoover and do a wipe around. Helps us keep on top.

[Holly]

I’m going to play devils advocate here. I hate mess, I love tidy rooms however why does their room have to be tidy? Clean yes, but if it’s messy, who is it affecting? I used to stress myself out trying to get my son to tidy his room and keep it neat and lovely but he couldn’t care less!

Now I just shut the door and leave him to it! We have a ‘No food in the room’ rule so there’s never any dirty plates etc and all washing goes in the wash basket but he just has ‘stuff’ out. When it starts to annoy him he tidys it up!

[Jo Packham]

I used to bung everything left lying around into bin liners, then give them X number of dsys to put it all away! If not done then tell them it will all be binned & NOT REPLACED!

[Amy]

Stick it all in a black bag and tell them it's going to the tip . They've never refused to tidy up again . ( I didn't take it to the tip but they knew we would)

[Julie]

First of all do it with them so they know what to do and what you expect. Make a checklist with them. Then ask them to do it by a certain day/time. If they don't do it. Then withdraw a privilege, tv, phone, technology etc until it's done.

[Kerrion]

I have pretty much given up. Like others says - just ignore. I used to make them earn screen time but that has gone by wayside. Now I leave them to it and shut the door (17yo and 14yo) then the 8yo gets told to go tidy before we do something she wants to do like go to the park/library etc - she doesn’t always get much done but she often finds something to play with (other than a screen) while she’s there so I count that as a small win!

[Yvonne]

My two are 15 and 18, I now shut their doors and when they ask for something. I just say must be in your room. I used to get so stressed about it. Not anymore, it's pointless. They will get there eventually when it's there own house.

[Saera]

I ask mine 3 times and if it’s not done I go round their rooms with black bags and throw away anything that’s on the floor.

They’re then banned off all technology till they can learn to do as their asked the first time.

It might sound harsh but I don’t like mess or being ignored.

[Moo]

I think sometimes is what is the barrier? If it’s executive functioning it may need to be broken down into smaller tasks and visual schedules, if it’s face attached to a screen, screen limits.

[Robyn]

I’m moving house soon and I might be meen but I’m planning on telli my the kids at a weekend they can’t come down Saturday morning unless their bedroom is tidy. I’m also planning on trying to get them to do their own washing.

Having a small washing basked in their rooms each and yes I will have to tell Jen but getting them to take their own washing down popping it in the washer and dryer then folding them and taking their cloths back up again.

My kids are still young as I’m 4 and 7. My 4 year old is already really good at keeping his room tidy and putting his dirty cloths in the basket. It’s my 7year old. I can tidy her bedroom in the morning and by the evening it’s like I hvnt done it. I’m cracking down on it when we move as it’s a bigger house and a lot more for me to keep clean and tidy. If I have to fight them to much then I will be taking things off them. If this still doesn’t work then I may even go in their bedrooms and put everything that is on the floor and into a bin bag. This might be mean but if it meens they will listen to me I will do it.

[Tammy]

Turn off Wi-Fi and withhold their pocket money. My 14 year asked for his pocket money last week and my reply was “have you put your ironing away?” His reply was “no not yet but I’ll do it”

And my last words were “when you put it away, then you can have it”. That was the end of the conversation and he done it Saturday morning and that’s when I transferred it into his account.

I don’t nag him, he knows what’s expected and won’t get a yes from me for anything until he does.

I feel less stressed out when I’m not nagging so I wait for the “mum, can I have?”

[Charlotte]

I think sometimes 'tidy your room' can be quite vague or overwhelming for some children. Maybe you could try being more specific, with a list of instructions such as

1. put all your dirty washing in the laundry basket

2.pick up all your books/games/puzzles and put them on your shelf

3. Bring down anything that belongs in the kitchen - cups, plates, bowls etc

4. Empty your bin

Worth a try maybe? You could give incentives for completing so many of the individual tasks.

Maybe make it competitive: who can complete most tasks?

Who can complete them (properly) the quickest?

[Leigh-anne]

Stop nagging I found the more you do the more it gets worse. Just shut the door and say I don't deal with it. Soon enough they get feed up and start cleaning.

[Becky]

My advice- shut the door, pretend it's not there...they will get to a point where they don't like the mess because they can't find anything, then they will do it... my eldest is 15 and this is the only way it works now without huge arguments!

[Clair]

My son is 16. His room is always immaculate. My daughter is 17, she’s a slob. I just go in first thing in the morning and fling open the windows and start cleaning. She soon gets up. There’s no way I’m leaving it so until she starts to do it herself I’ll be doing it at the most inconvenient times.

[Lynn]

It’s their space , I’d leave it , apart from changing sheets etc Shut the doors and eventually they’ll get fed up . I tried it , ended up putting it all in black bags into the garage . I learnt to not touch their stuff and do everything for them ( teenagers) Good luck

[Clair]

Easy answer just say tidy it or I do a mum tidy which means black bin bag & everything chucked into black bin liner & out for the bin men lol I only did it once for my teen daughter (she's now a mum herself) & after that she kept her room lovely (& no I didn't throw her stuff away just kept it in the shed & she got it back eventually)

[Maria]

My friends hubby told the kids he had hidden £5 in each room and the only way to find it was clean up .it worked.

[Jemma]

I have a 12 and 15 year old. I've given up asking them, bribing them, punishing them. I am lucky enough to work from home most days with only 1 in the office so once they bugger off to school before I log on I'll whip round the 3 bedrooms make all our beds, pick dirty laundry up etc. Then once a week on a weekend I make damn sure they're on the phone or watching something they're really interested in and I'll go in with the hoover and polish and damp dust every crevis. I get in their way, they get moody. I tell them they're more than welcome to do it themselves if I'm bothering them then they let me do it lol.