I am need of advice for our picky eater who is 3

[Guest]

Hi everyone, I am need of advice for our picky eater who is 3. She has been picky since she was roughly 18 months but it has progressively gotten worse.

I used to have “safe” foods I would give her such as: Pancakes, waffles, toast with PB, Mac and cheese, brown beans, cheese and crackers, oatmeal, yogourt, smoothies, and most fruit.

Now she has gotten to the point where she is refusing most of these foods and only wanting snacks like bear paws, granola bars and stuff not necessarily “healthy” for her.

We have tried doing family dinners and serving her small portions of foods she hasn’t tried mixed in with foods she is familiar with and foods she likes.

She is now full on refusing to sit with us at dinner (which is fine, we don’t force her to eat if she isn’t hungry) the problem is this.

She then screams that she wants to eat, but refuses everything we that are having.

What do we do?! I don’t want to force her to eat food she doesn’t want, I don’t want to make her go hungry but I also can’t just give in right?! I’m at a loss and it’s seriously effecting my mental health, this is an ongoing battle every single day

[Maela]

My daughter is 22mo. Last week at nursery pick up the carer kept telling me how my daughter is a joy with food. She never refuses anything and always finish her plate. They told me this before but last week seeing my face after she told me what she eat, the teacher added “they know we can’t just go in the kitchen and make smt else, so they are like whatever I’ll have this”!

Since then I have decided that what I offer is no negotiable (this obviously always includes safe food and family dinner). She can choose how much to eat and IF to eat at all but I am not rushing to make something else when she pushes the plate away at the first sight of the menu.

The first few days of me not giving in and making something else, she cried and cried, almost always refused to eat at first but then got back to it. I kept saying that “we are having X today, we can have Y (items asked for) tomorrow. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t worry but that’s all we are having for dinner”.

With snacks I am still flexible in the sense that I agree to something sweet once a day and if what she is asking is healthy then I just give it to her as much as she wants

It is early day but I do not want to feel I contributed to her “apparent” pickiness getting worse. It is hard to refuse her what she is asking for but I know it is for the better. Otherwise she wouldnjust eat the same 3 things over and over.

I could not forgive myself if I was the reason why she became pickier and it became too late to rectify.

[Zoe]

Well we are quite strict with our picky eaters, more so for my own sanity. I include something in dinner that is generally a safe food (pasta, bread, fruit slices) and they help themselves. We give them a reasonable amount of time to eat, but then dinner is over, and there is nothing else. Doesn't matter how much they throw a tantrum, I refuse to give in. Takes some of the power away from the food. Their choice to go hungry at dinner if they refuse their safe foods. We are the same for breakfast and lunch, but are more flexible with options around snack foods. Hasn't cured the picky eating but they don't tantrum anymore because they know I won't budge.

[Batman]

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