Trigger warning - Stillbirth/Infant loss

[Guest]

Well, here it is.

It's odd. When you lose a child, especially a young child or baby, there are many 'I wonder if' and 'would they be' milestones that come and go all the time. I wonder if he'd be speaking yet? Would he have been an early walker or late bloomer? Neat hair cuts of foppish? I wonder if he'd had his first crush by now. Would he have met his life parter yet? What job? What hobbies? What family? Would he marry? I wonder if he'd have had his own kids? So many missing memories.

Yet for most children, from the moment they are conceived (if not the moment they are born) there is one date on the calendar that is fixed. One certainty that will come and go and that moment will be missed.

Today is that moment.

Today, my son should be standing in front of this door. Jumper too big, bags almost as large as he is. Shiny new shoes, probably a nice new haircut or trim to start the year tidy and presentable. Wearing shorts, I imagine, given it's still warm. Hopefully excited but nervous to be heading off to his first day of school, hand in hand with a big sister who reassures him it'll be OK and to say hello to her old teachers.

Instead, I have an empty door.

Infant and baby loss is not just one moment and one loss. It's the loss of every moment that should have followed.

Sending love to all the Empty Door parents today, you're not alone

[Katie]

This is me today too. My first born was stillborn at 38 weeks, he should be starting senior school today. Sending you lots of love.

[Claire]

Almost 6 years ago for us for our first mc followed by 6 more, having nephews and nieces of similar ages also reminds us of certain milestones never reached. Sending lots of love to all those that feel the same pain.

[Ali]

Sending you and everyone else that has also sadly been though this lots of love, it’s utterly heartbreaking. My little Boy should be starting his last year of primary school today.

Time helps slightly but they’ll always be your Babies.. Thinking of you lots. Sending you huge hugs.

[Batman]

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