My biggest challenge in my writing is "show vs tell."

[Guest]

Often when I think I am showing, it turns out I'm telling.

Oddly, just this morning, it clicked for me when watching a young woman exude happiness after being given a free cup of coffee and donut. So, if I was to show her happiness, I could write:

After being gifted a donut and cup of coffee, the young woman rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, danced, threw her head back and beamed wildly.

Instead of just saying, the young lady was extremely joyous after receiving a cup of coffee and donut for free.

Thoughts, please.

[Reese]

That’s a good start! The Emotion Thesaurus is a super great recourse for showing vs. telling emotions.

I’ve used it a ton in my writing and it really enhances it!

[Jayson]

Yep. That's the concept.

The reason showing vs telling is hard to grasp is because it is actually a myriad of issues that make the problem. It is passive language, weak verbs, sensory description etc

But the rule of thumbi tend to follow is

Telling is WHAT happened

"The sun shined brightly"

Showing is HOW it happened

"The sun beat into the pavement turning the asphalt into a skillet and heating the air until it burned to breathe."

Or to be more focused on "brightly" instead of how it felt:

"Character squinted as they looked into the sky, sheilding their eyes with their hand."

Why not the sun forced the chatacter to squint? Well then it becomes a question of subject focus and again passive vs active language... who does the action and who the reader should care about etc.

This then becomes the puzzle you solve in editing - what should the reader focus on - is it important for them to know the sun is shining? Why? How does this effect the story?

Do you describe things through character actions....

And i could ramble about this for hours. The point being - showingbis an expression of "how we know something is happening".

What consitutes an expression of joy? A dilapidated building? How do we know it is raining? Or a car is going fast?

[Debbie]

Right idea, needs polish. Stilted. Remember not just to throw all the superlatives out there. I mean, within reason. Sounds like she is possessed here. Sorry, just letting you know it seems out of bounds to me.

But it's your character so you do what feels best.

Don't miss: Shall I use my artist Instagram account to promote my book, or start another one, solely dedicated to my writing?

[Sam]

Listen, if someone gives me a free donut, I'm going to be melodramatic just like this!

Joking aside, yes, you get the concept. Just make sure the actions are fitting for the situation and that they match how your character would react.

I think the exception could be for humor, though. If it's meant to be a funny scene, sometimes overdramatizing it is what you need to do to show how ridiculous the situation really is.

[Claire]

You’re on the right track but be careful not to veer into melodrama - this is quite an overreaction to a free drink. ‘She beamed at the barista, dancing a little on the spot’ would do it.

[Jill]

i would say: make the description tell us something about the meaning of the gift to her, so we can tell what it means to her by reading it. that infuses a description with character and plot and moves the story forward. for example:

- she wagged her hips in a spontaneous little dance and pumped her fist in the air …

is different from:

- she reached out with both hands, brought the cup to her lips, and breathed the warm scent in deeply, her eyes closing in gratitude.

Explore these too: What do you do when you can picture the ending of your book but not the beginning?

[Kessily]

If I gifted someone a cup of coffee and she started rocking back and forth and dancing I would probably back away slowly...

[M Lori]

Yup. Showing is just giving sensory information: things the reader could see, hear, smell, etc. Actions. You don't have to write a lot more detail or make things longer to 'show.'

[Nancy]

Imagine the woman's reaction. Don't describe it, "act it out" on paper. Examples - telling: She was excited to receive the award. Showing: Tears of joy rolled down her cheeks and her hands shook noticeably as she accepted the award.