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Yes, this is my partners grave and we've been told that eventually we will have to remove everything off it.
It's going to be hard for our children as they are only 9 and 12 so we wanted it to look nice for when I take then to visit every week as he was very loved and still is xx
Churchyards are very strict and will only allow certain types of natural stone, only honed not polished. They will only allow legal names on headstones and, for example they wouldn't allow mum, it would have to be mother. Most will only allow a small cross OR angel on a headstone, not both an no other images. None I know of would allow any of the things you listed.
Most cemeteries aren't as strict as churchyards but do have strict rules. A lot only allow lawn memorials, not the full kerb sets and again, wouldn't allow what you mentioned. They like everything to be uniform and a lot of the time, rules on personal items is to do with it making mowing difficult
Wtf! That’s shocking, so much for kindness and compassion from the church! They are dictating what you do for loved ones grave, most people are on auto pilot when lost loved one and no doubt wouldn’t have chosen such place if so strict! So can’t even leave a wee teddy bear!?
Leaving things and decorating graves is a huge part of grieving process.
My mom wanted a cremation and no fuss but we could bury her ashes not with the urn , so where she was cremated we buried her ashes and I planted blue bells and daffodils and they keep coming up year after year , flowers are not allowed if in plastic but it’s such a peaceful place .. when my daughters dad died age 56 and his next of kin we found his will and said wanted to be buried , which was a shock to us , but my daughter said I’m his next of kin and I’m 21 I’ve just finished university I don’t know where life will take me and I hate the thought of a overgrown burial which no one visits , then the perfect the solution the funeral director said you can have a natural burial and it’s quite a new thing , he could not be embalmed and his clothing fully cotton and the casket of natural fibres and biodegradable xx it was the most perfect burial I’ve ever been too it was one with nature … we visit and yet the landscape changes from to season we know he is there and laughing at us trying to work out where he is due to the passing seasons but generations change and Also my mom there also and it’s beautiful and yes generations will pass and they will be forgotten but they won’t have a stone not looked after.
I will do there when my time comes and I guess I will know nothing about if but as a final place it’s perfect xxx
We have a private garden at a crematorium, but they also have strict rules, the garden must be kept 'sterile' no plastic, no momentoes, only fresh flowers with packaging removed. There are a number of reasons, 1 it helps them with the upkeep, they can mow to the edges and nothing is blowing around etc. 2 the local wildlife aren't at risk from eating things they shouldn't and lastly some people can be really tacky, and as much as it's their space, it does effect the general atmosphere of the whole area. Keeping it neutral means the whole area looks nice and is calming.
I know it feels bad, there is a level of guilt that you can't leave them things there, but find yourself somewhere else maybe where you can put things that the graveyard don't allow. My dad's garden is next to a little boy, his family used to leave plastic cars , saddest sight and certainly not offensive but if we knew the crematorium were 'having a clear out' we'd push them back under the small tree that was on his garden so they couldn't be seen.
My partner worked in a graveyard doing gardening etc, there were strict rules around having stuff around the grave stones so they could use the strimmer to cut the grass around the headstones without lots of stuff being in the way.
They were told to remove stuff that was there that wasn't meant to be and the family could go in to collect it.
