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Anyone else struggle with letting others (specifically those that know you) know about what you write or the fact that you're an author because what you write is completely different than the front you keep up in front of others?
Like I get pretty reserved and embarrassed about letting any friends, coworkers, and family members know about what I write because I keep up this I'm just a plain girl front yet I write dark romance and rather violent things . If any of you struggle with this or have struggled with it then how did you deal with it or got over it?
I write too much smut in my books to be 100% comfortable with telling people about my books, but then I remind myself that it's 2023 and you shouldn't be ashamed when talking about s*e*x.
I'm not sure I'm over it really. I just realized that I was acting ashamed of certain parts of my writing when, really, I was proud as hell on the inside it takes practice, the talking about it thing.
I started with my best friend and am still working my way out I guess I'll see what they all think when I publish.
I have had this problem but I have found bookish friends that I have been able to share all of me.
My family is highly conservative so I can't share my actual writing unfortunately... but my new friends I've gotten to meet and hang with and it's great!
I wrote a poetry book and some of it is fairly deep, and when it came out I was defs embarassed for my family to read it, and my dad actually mentioned that he wasn’t sure if he should be worried about me LOL but I just told him writing is an outlet for me point is, own your truth love, everything else will fall into place and you just be you.
I don't think there is a way to get over it. I can pretend I'm blasé about it, but I'm not. My writer identity is separate from my day-to-day one. There's nothing particularly shameful in my writing, but it is like exposing part of your soul.
Also, it doesn’t matter how many proofreaders I get, I know my mother will find that one typo they all miss... like within a minute.
I’ve always been a very open person so no. I usually can’t wait to tell people.
I even have a shirt that says author it took a lot of work in a super short amount of time for me to learn all I had to and I’m no genius or expert but I’m super proud.
I'm a people pleaser by nature so you can see where this is going haha. BUT from telling people about the fact that I'm writing, I was able to weed out who would and wouldn't support me through the process.
A lot of my friends are lawyers or police, so telling them I'm writing about fantasy was already a risky move. But I was so surprised to find how many of them were way more supportive than I could ever imagine.
You gotta trust that you're doing what you love and your enjoyment of the process. Those who genuinely want to support you will come to light.
I could see how that would be awkward! I write alternatingly ancient egyptian historical fiction and textbooks (egypt is my guilty pleasure to get away from what I should be writing), so there is very little risk of even the people I know having any interest in reading it. Which is, um, good. Very good. Please continue your disinterest.
There is just one good friend who occasionally reads a snippet, and then I feel very self conscious, especially when I try to talk about my characters and I realize they are more real to me than most actual people in my life.
I never had any desire to talk to non-writers about any aspect of my writing. None of my neighbors know I am a published author. I save my talk about writing for when I am with other writers or creative people who understand the process.
When I am with acquaintances my opening line is, "How 'bout them Phillies!"
. If any of you struggle with this or have struggled with it then how did you deal with it or got over it?
it takes practice, the talking about it thing. 
point is, own your truth love, everything else will fall into place and you just be you.
it took a lot of work in a super short amount of time for me to learn all I had to and I’m no genius or expert but I’m super proud.